Ladies, yeah!

I'd just like to say, Way to go all of us for being there for each other for loving without judgement for loving over time for being the shoulder again and again and again and never complaining and holding each other easily.

This is a Ladies, yeah! message to my girlfriends.

Way to Be. Love you.
Louisiana Jones Forever

Kurt and the Kitten

Guy sent this to me today to make me feel good. It worked. I would worship at the altar of that photo-set someone took of Kurt and the Kitten if I could. Someday I will buy this photo.

Primal Scream Showtime

Saw the Pixies a couple weeks ago.
They played "TAME."
I screamed along with Frank Black Francis every time, "TAME! TAME! TAME!"

I totally get Art Janov now.



Also saw the Butthole Surfers this year. What a treat. My favorite show so far, however I did accidentally drink too much before going and um...that takes a person too far out of the experience to really experience it. I go to experience the music. Some go to get wasted. Some don't know anything. Some don't care.





Who else? For such a crappy year, the music sure has been great. Oh yeah, The Sonics. How could I forget. Also going to see them in January in LA and San Francisco. I don't know why so many shows, but I am grateful.



Oh yeah, saw Spoon this year too. They were spot on perfect. Britt, even though he can be an asshole (which he was to Guy in the hallway pre-show) has a lot of control over his voice and can create a huge amount of contrast. Loud Quiet Loud. The photo is taken by a friend of a friend, Alan Hess. Isn't it beautiful? Wouldn't I love so much to be a rock photographer? Yes. Yes, I would.

The point of this post is screaming. I listen to music that is pretty scream-y anyway, and have found that cranking those sounds up and screaming right along, especially in the CAR is some pretty good therapy. Chuck Klosterman calls it CAR MUSIC and declares it THE BEST.

Yep.

Case Study Plus

I recently realized that if I got to live in one of my many dream houses - the Case Study House - I would know I lived in a house with the coolest name of all time.

But would have NO WHERE to hang art. What do they do?

Other great houses:

They told me I'm skirting the issue

and they are right.

Watch Out! Fave Movie Posting!

Short Cuts
brilllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllliance.

For Sale - has broken spoke

Still works but gets caught on stuff.
call 415) 867-5309.
Best offer.

For Sale - has broken english

Still works but gets caught on stuff.
Call 415) 867-5309.
Best offer.

Prayer Sent

Babelogue
I haven't fucked much with the past, but I've fucked plenty with the future. Over the skin of silk are scars from the splinters of stations and walls I've caressed. A stage is like each bolt of wood, like a log of Helen, is my pleasure. I would measure the success of a night by the way by the way by the amount of piss and seed I could exude over the columns that nestled the P.A. Some nights I'd surprise everybody by skipping off with a skirt of green net sewed over with flat metallic circles which dazzled and flashed. The lights were violet and white. I had an ornamental veil, but I couldn't bear to use it. When my hair was cropped, I craved covering, but now my hair itself is a veil, and the scalp inside is a scalp of a crazy and sleepy Comanche lies beneath this netting of the skin. I wake up. I am lying peacefully I am lying peacefully and my knees are open to the sun. I desire him, and he is absolutely ready to seize me. In heart I am a Moslem; in heart I am an American; in heart I am Moslem, in heart I'm an American artist, and I have no guilt. I seek pleasure. I seek the nerves under your skin. The narrow archway; the layers; the scroll of ancient lettuce. We worship the flaw, the belly, the belly, the mole on the belly of an exquisite whore. He spared the child and spoiled the rod. I have not sold myself to God.

- Patti Smith

(thank you TC)

Photo above by Annie Leibovitz. It says proud to me. Pride is good. It says suvivor. Proud is necessary to surviving.

19 Excellent Quotes from Funny People

Best recent twitter posts by my favorites. Fill your day with these fun nuggets.

1. rands rands
"Hate is fear amplified by the lack of knowledge" 3:07 PM Nov 27th

2. RainnWilson rainnwilson
I am thankful for pie. 4:10 PM Nov 25th

3. Joshua Allen fireland
I wrote you a haiku / But it had no grace / I wrote you a sonnet / But ran out of space / Anyway here's a drawing of a penis on your face 8:47 AM Nov 17th

4. Joshua Allen fireland
"Dad, are angels real?" "Yep." "They're watching over us?" "Every minute of every goddamn day." "Dad, I'm scared." "Me too, champ. Me too." 3:36 PM Nov 4th

5. Merlin Mann hotdogsladies
"Welcome! You appear to suffer from mood swings and black-and-white thinking. Site best viewed with cognitive therapy and SSRIs. Continue »" 1:27 PM Nov 3rd

6. rands rands
Hire those who move faster than you, can read your mind, and want your job. 12:21 PM Nov 3rd

7. rands rands
Authenticity = ( Trust x Timeliness ) 11:04 PM Nov 2nd

8. Merlin Mann hotdogsladies
Nah. "Hypocrisy" is vainly hoping you've hidden an inconsistency. Publicly contradicting yourself is called "being honest." And it rules. 9:03 AM Nov 2nd

13. rands rands
There's really is no replacement for screwing up. 7:52 PM Oct 21st

14. RainnWilson rainnwilson
For Halloween I'm wrapping myself in aluminum foil and going as a giant balloon with no kid inside. 8:43 AM Oct 16th

9. LoozyJones LoozyJones
people are afraid of me too, lisa. it's because we're tall, loud and forget that we're not supposed to tell the truth. 8:56 AM Nov 2nd in reply to lisarein

10. LoozyJones LoozyJones
wondering if my psychiatrist is a terrorist. that in his off-time he's dancing to cornershop and hating women. 8:24 AM Nov 2nd

11. Bob Dylan Says BobDylanSays
Broken dishes, broken parts, 12:18 PM Oct 29th

12. Bob Dylan Says BobDylanSays
I won't be a stand-in for an old love 2:18 PM Oct 23rd

15. rands rands
When you say "It all happens for a reason", I hear "I have no idea what just happen and no idea what to do next" 7:31 AM Oct 16th

16. Merlin Mann hotdogsladies
I can't prove reading books makes you smarter, but there's compelling anecdotal evidence for what happens when you don't. 10:33 AM Oct 7th

17. Scott Simpson scottsimpson
Every hundredth or so person I pass on the street gives me a look like they know my secret. I wish they would tell me what it is. 10:23 AM Oct 7th

18. Tom Green tomgreenlive
Shit. I think I am insane. I just figured it out. Damn! What the hell am I gonna do now? 10:05 AM Oct 7th

19. Michael Ian Black michaelianblack
Sometimes when I floss I pretend the floss is a thong and my teeth are all tiny butt cracks. 7:21 PM

Mom Got High

A,
how are you?

my mom being here the last three days saved me from sure serious toxicity. she was strong for me and gave me good advice and a lot of times no advice at all, just a lot of love. i don't know what i'm going to do about my situation.

i'm sitting around reading and getting high all day. oh that reminds me...it was so funny. last night i showed my mom the marijuana chocolate D gave me that BI made. it's white chocolate. she loves white chocolate. i said, do you wanna see how marijuana tastes? it adds an interesting flavor, like an herb...which it is. she said ok and had a bite. i told her That's not enough to do anything to you. she said, Well, can i have some more and i told her how much i had eaten in the past and how it had not affected me. she chose a piece bigger than that. we both proceeded to get super high. she was hilarious. oh my god. we laughed so hard over so much, i thought i was gonna give her a heart attack. all my photos she looked at were SO BEAUTIFUL and the dinner i made was SO AMAZING. it was great to see her experience such high levels of pleasure. she is a depressive and doesn't usually get that. she told me, Well i do feel more relaxed...

i told her about how you call yourself nolte in the morning and she asked why. i showed her the nick nolte dui picture and she almost busted a gut. i have never maybe in DECADES seen her laugh so hard. it was so fun. i had to tell you that.

i love you.
lou

Maybe Jones

Hi.

I'm back.

Maybe.

I thought i might rename The Jones, "The Maybe Jones" because everything is a Maybe right now. I think I flattened the art file though, making text changes a waste of time. So anyway, I'm back.

Maybe.

(It's me, Maybe Jones.)

Gone Fishin'

it's been a fun 3.5 years of Jonesing but i'm outta here for a while.

thanks, readers.
it was so much fun writing for you.
whoever you are.
love,
LJ

The End, My Friend

Over like the blue screen of death.
Over like the first roll of credits...
Like exhaling,
Like crying familiar tears.
Over like you mean it.
Like bad yogurt,
Like rotten sprouts in a jar in yr kitchen window.

Over like breaking.
Like slowing down,
Like falling.
Over like you're never looking up.

Over like that.

Imagine the world without her

she'll leave a lot of responsibility on our shoulders, because she's the oldest, hardest working woman for peace. and she does so much.

witness:
1. Italy sings Imagine
2. The Imagine Peace Tower in Iceland
3. Everything on this page. The lady is BUSY!!
4. Her new record has great reviews, cant wait to get it. PLUS her band features Yuka Honda from Cibo Matto. Yay-ko! Buy it and support her work for Peace. Samples of each song are on her site in the sidebar, PLUS, she's promoting through a cool way: a remix competition, also linked there.

Well, now my day is better. Time to get out of bed and face the City and therapy. Maybe say a few i ii iiis. The City needs it. Marin is filled with it, and that matters even though some of it is fake. My heart needs it.

ok, buying her record now.
peas.

Sandwich Dreams

Sandwiches come and sandwiches go but some remain in your mind forever. As a major sandwich-lover and connosieur, it's time to reflect on some of the best sandwiches out there, sandwiches that are actually missed.

1. The crab sandwich in South City. This is not normally something I order, but it came highly recommended. I have no idea what they did to it, but it was the best-tasting questionable sandwich I've ever had.

2. The black forest ham and swiss cheese with carmelized onions and aioli on a toasted kaiser bun on Potrero Hill. It dripped some delicious and unidentifiable sauce. Unbelievable.

3. The breakfast sandwich: scrambled eggs, two slices of melted american cheese and bacon on a toasted english muffin. Sounds common, but somehow it is the best breakfast sandwich I've ever had. From the same place on Potrero Hill as #2.

4. The salami and swiss with 1/2 sweet mustard & 1/2 mayo and red onions on a dutch crunch in the Financial District. My creation. No one else makes it as well as they do though.

5. The black forest ham and melted swiss with carmelized onions and lemon aioli on a roll at the old MOMA cafe (circa 1995).

6. The Reuben from Max's with pastrami on toasted lo-carb light rye.

7. The Cobb Salad Sandwich from Max's. It had fresh roasted turkey - like you'd get at Thanksgiving - red onions, avocado, bacon, basil aoili, blue cheese, and mayo on a roll. They don't make it anymore. I have not been able to duplicate it myself.

8. The Bistec sandwich at Sol Food in San Rafael. It's grilled steak with melted swiss, avocado, carmelized onions and a mysterious sauce that is to rape and pillage for - all on a toasted long, flat ciabatta. This is my current favorite. I go to Sol Food, sit in the window, read the news on my iphone, and devour this sandwich with a gigantic ice coffee served in a huge Bell Jar. HEAVEN.

Oh my god, I'm starving. I'm not allowed to eat sandwiches at the moment since my stupid meds made me gain 10Ibs. It's gotta be plain roast beef wrapped around gouda with sweet mustard dribbles for this chubbed out girl.

Ahhh, sandwiches, thank you for ruling so much.

Let's Have Some Fun

(click on photo to enlarge)

Facebook...finally explained

The Jones vs. facebook fight is long over, but this can't be passed up.

OK, now it's over.

TV

Every little thing about this picture cracks me up.

q. "...hottest rock photos, crazy meet-ups and scorching live shots!" OH MY GOD!
j. These guys have no idea who Thurston Moore is. They weren't even born yet when Sonic Youth finally signed with a major.
s. "Thurston...is the meat in a gossip boy sandwich?!" SOUNDS DIVINE! I DON'T EAT BREAD!
l. Never seen the show. Will now.
x. "Photograph courtesy of Thurston Moore." Did he get this picture taken for his teenage daughter? "How Embarrassing DAD!!"

What could have been

guy just sent me this picture. it makes me sad and wistful. this picture would have been my bio-dad, my mom and me.

if he hadn't been a drunk.

instead, this became my life:

Mourning Jim

He's gone.

guy tells me this. he doesn't want to. i answer the phone irritated. i have just gotten out of a therapy session that sucked balls and then i get in my car and i call guy because he told me to when i was done. i have attitude. he says he doesn't need it, just called to see how i'm doing. i tell him it sounded like he had something to say, please say it.

"i have bad news, lou."

(shit) WHAT?

"jim carroll died."

the tears hit the back of my lids, hot and ready. i watch them drip into my jeans and soak up immediately. i am silent. i am silently crying and watching the tears drip.

"...how"

"heart attack."

i hang up and put my head in my hands and bawl for all that is lost when the world loses an angel.

it is the most painful thing.

Twin Tower Ghost

in light of my new attitude-effort to be more positive, i find these beautiful photos by my favorite writer, Augusten Burroughs, very inspiring.

you must check them out. i had no idea. did you? other people not from new york city?

Gift dilemma produces joke, makes depressed girl almost smile

looking for a gift for a mom who's turning 40. known her a long time, we used to be friends...since we were 15. not so close anymore...i want to give her something nice, but nothing handmade by me. we're just not in each other's lives enough for that.

then i thought, "mother's little helper." what if i gave her a pillbox with some valium in it and had "mother's little helper" engraved on the top?

and i found this in my search.



"I used to care, but now I have a pill for that."

but that would be a gift for me.

Bank Meltdown

the bank. who likes the bank? no one probably...but some don't mind it as much as me. almost anything having to do with the bank...gives me total meltdown. this includes: screaming, yelling, talking very loudly...pacing, panic, anxiety and desire to pull out hair.

why? well, the bank is an institution and they speak a different language than humans, yet humans are expected to understand this language and follow the rules with no exceptions upon birth of said human.

for instance. does anyone have any idea why some of these numbers are red, why others are not and what each of them means? why are some in parentheses? why are others not? there are no pluses or minuses to tell me if they're different other than their color. can anyone tell me? because i have no idea. and that makes me insane. and scream, and yell and talk very loudly to no avail barring criticism for not understanding, and punishment for not understanding quick enough ($30 each time i don't understand in time).

the bank. always been a thorn.

"Bear Bottom Farms"

sorry. nine years in the castro district of san francisco has given me a one-track mind.

which makes this ad hysterical. there's a farm where they're making 'em!!

This Sonic Boom

...it's
what i live for,
mostly.

they take me to the moon,
they build my cocoon,
they make me lose myself,
that sound they make, i love
the one that hits
right there.
right there.
right there.

thurston's pre-song speech:
"i belive this mic stand is from los angeles...because it's half-developed...i love you too, young man. i appreciate you spreading the love. i want to dedicate this to you and all your boyfriends."

Untitled

is it alive? can it be saved?

Lonely people in the neighborhood

this morning i went out to breakfast with my friend Mornin'Spider in oakland at noon. i needed some hash browns mixed with scrambled eggs and ketchup and that's all there was to it.

none of my diet rules are engaged at this time*.

we had to split the tab at the end on two visas. the total was $20. including tax. it's humorous that two 40 year olds would have to split a $20 breakfast bill in half with two visas. then i said, well, it's 2009, what the hell.

she agreed.

people at the cafe:
1. damon albarn/liam gallagher in mirrored aviators served us. i mean, the guy held himself like a rockstar more than he looked like damon/liam...mirrored aviators, a cafe tshirt that's a bit too small, saggy, worn-out jeans. tall, handsome. surprised that he was cordial. expected douchey.

2. woman who doesn't know her belly is huge and sticking out over her waistband and wrapped in a too-tight tshirt. jesus. she had nice lips, and she talked constantly so i noticed. but she also possessed an insecurity that created a gross, light green cloud around her. like you might choke if you got too close. like smog. she had an annoyingly habitual huh-huh-huh laugh. her "date" was also gross. longish stringy hair, look of fear in his eyes, no idea what to do with himself, he sat there with his stringy hair and some of it in a tiny, skinny, oily ponytail.

depressing.

3. and then another mirrored-aviator damon/liam shows up. can't tell if he's the same person except the clothes are different. he's wearing a long-sleeved black tshirt and gray jeans that are a little tighter the other damon/liam. same haircut as the other damon/liam. couldn't tell these two dudes apart until i saw them both at the same time. i think this might be the new ironic hipster look. they didn't even look that much younger than me. martha stewart!**

4. two sets of dorky overweight couples wishing they were thinner and not really feeling like they fit. in their clothes or in the bay area.

5. me. i fit alright. i've got the stringy hair i haven't washed in two days. i put it in braids and barret my bangs up, pull a few extra strands out and put on lip gloss. i convince myself this makes me ok to look at. but when i get in front of a mirror, i see someone who's been rid. i don't give a martha stewart** about this at the cafe. that's the nicest thing i can say about the east bay and the city versus marin county. i could never go out looking that way in marin. i might not get served and i would definitely get dirty - haha - looks.

bad, ugly, beautiful, free, constrained. which do you choose and why?

6. my friend. she fits fine. she was born in that cafe. she is pretty without trying and always clean. she doesn't get stringy hair. sometimes she can pull a nolte*** but she'd never go out half-cocked nolte like i did today.

"all the lonely people. where do they all come from."
the song is not in my head, but the words are.

i want to throw up over how many lonely people there are, and gross people and desperate people. all the people. it's nauseating.


*at this time = unmentionable loss.

**martha stewart! is a funny new curse term in boston as reported by my friend TC. i'm going to try it instead of "fuck" all the time. fuck can get ugly. i've got enough ugly right now.

***lookin' nolte is when you wake up looking like nick nolte's mug shot.

22 minutes from 43 folders guy and 5ives guy

the man, merlin mann, you know i love the man.

a totally enjoyable 20 minutes here that is seriously thought-provoking. and that's no joke! it's also hilarious. don't miss a word, and look at it too, don't just listen.

Twitter: an explanation

people don't get twitter, they're afraid to ask, they don't know what to say, they throw their hands up and proclaim that facebook is all they can handle.



i've got a collection of twitter posts flagged as fucking-a hilarious, but twitter won't let anyone who isn't logged in see them. durn.



maybe a couple of screenshots of posts will answer all of the above questions AND explain why facebook is like TV - brain cells actually die in their presence vs. twitter which requires some kind of human brain output.




twitter is like a subscription to as many hilarious one-liner magazines as you want. for free!!




it also shows you how any situation can be looked upon from a million perspectives. and points of view. if that's not the same thing.



see what i'm sayin'? funny stuff, people. laughter is the nectar of the gods. if you get thirsty there are resources in the most surprising places.



like that twitter thing people don't get.