Friday, September 30, 2011

This Just In: Blogger, Not Improved, Becomes Asshole

Keeping the Jones good-looking has just become a lot harder.

So, I've been out of touch a while. Now I'm back in touch and nothing works as it once did.

I'm really working on becoming old and crotchety.

Jones posts are not going to be evenly lined up with corresponding photography and embedded youtube players are not even going to fit in the window.

It seems blogger went and improved itself right out of compliance with whatever came before Chrome. Can't use Chrome without an Intel chip. Can't have a neat blog without Chrome. My $1700 macbook isn't Intel.

Way to improve, blogger! Bravo!

thanks.
LJ

In a time before "obliques"
















Marilyn Monroe was really cute before she got Hollywood glamorous. Take this photo for example.

Another thing to gather from this photo: a little tummy roll was considered totally sexy in this country back in the day. Must have been before pilates and the word "obliques" entered the general American lexicon.

Must have been nice.

ps. can someone please recreate this bathing suit? ADORABLE!

Duke





















John Wayne has this to say about his movie star persona. I kinda like him for being so honest about this kind of thing. Most people just fake it and keep on faking it until they forget they're faking.

"When I started, I knew I was no actor and I went to work on this Wayne thing. It was as deliberate a projection as you'll ever see. I figured I needed a gimmick, so I dreamed up the drawl, the squint and a way of moving meant to suggest that I wasn't looking for trouble but would just as soon throw a bottle at your head as not. I practiced in front of a mirror."

Fingernail Blues

















Works better than a pill box. Just take a nibble when you're feeling down.

Happy Place





















From the genius at someecards.com comes Happyplace.com, a new source for a good larf.


Monday, September 26, 2011

Playground Camo


*photo thanks to kT over in minneapolis.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Jennifer Aniston's perfume






















While out today enjoying actual real air, I saw Sephora and remembered wanting to see what Jennifer Aniston's perfume is all about. Because I love her. She's hilarious. And she described her perfume as smelling "like the beach."

I went in and I smelled. Mmm, indeed, very beachy. Like sand, salt and suntan lotion. A bottle runs $70, and thankfully comes in a rollerball version too: $18.

Finally I have Jennifer Aniston's perfume, and when I smell it I'm reminded of Hawaii, and magazines and...a weird silent confusion. Like how vacations can sometimes feel. That feeling of, "how did I get here?"

Smell memories. What a little mind screw.

Another kind of sorry

I really hate it when people tell me to not be sorry.

As in, "This company is run in such a bullshit way. I can't believe I have to deal with this."
"Sorry."
"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault."

It's like they never caught on to what that kind of sorry actually means.

Here goes for those of you who didn't get it yet: "I feel empathy for you. I recognize your pain, I relate, and I know it sucks."

The purpose of this is to connect and therefore soothe the distressed. Not assume responsibility for something I clearly have no part in.

carry on.

What would Larry David do



It was beautiful out today in downtown San Francisco. It's summertime in SF and the whole town goes nuts. It persuaded me to get up from my desk, walk outside, go down the street and get something to eat. I don't remember the last time I did this during work hours.

I go to the Mall on Market Street. Delicious and amazing food is there. I looked around like a kid in wonder. It's been a long time since I visited the Westfield Mall. I found a lady giving out samples in front of a Thai stall. Delicious. I took one. Decided. I got in line.

As I stood there I remembered the episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm in which Larry David complains about the Stillers (as in Ben and Christine Taylor) giving out appetizers on sticks at their party. "What do you do with the stick?" he asks.

And I stood there fingering it for a long time before I realized I was really annoyed and needed to get rid of the stick. But where do you put i! Nowhere is there a stick depository! Nada!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

No love for Marc



I've been struggling to understand the Marc by Marc Jacobs brand for a few years now, and it's only getting worse.

What is he thinking? Who likes this stuff? This is his low-price point brand. Does he think "poor" girls have no taste? Does he pay his assistant's 5-year-old to come up with this stuff?

There's only one word. Ew.