Hanna Guide

Catleen Hanna.

Kathleen Hanna.

secret drinking problem coffee table

wouldn't it be fun/funny/great to have this coffee table with secret drinks inside. you could take one real quick while the husband/boyfriend/partner goes to the bathroom/kitchen/office during a commercial. no one would ever guess that this thing opens.

a must-have.

Kamikaze Deer

That scene from “The Leftovers” is a thing, and it happened to us this morning.

Rx and I were sitting at a stoplight, waiting to get on the freeway. The line of cars in both lanes was horrendously long. Suddenly something smashed into Rx’s door. I thought something was thrown. It was very confusing for a minute, until we saw the deer, running crazy down the middle between the two lanes. He didn’t have much room. Deer sort of bounce back and forth when they run. This was a buck and he was tearing out. And he slammed into our car on the way.

He took off into an area that I know doesn’t connect to a forest. Poor, poor deer. Poor dear.

Injured deer, thirsty deer, baby deer, deer on the side of the road, walking in the road, deer ticks. I hold a lot of worry for deers, like psychic scar tissue from viewings of Bambi and Watership Down.

Hail to the Back

In the dream I had Radiohead's Hail To The Thief tattooed on my back. I'm sure that means something good.

Are you such a dreamer
To put the world to rights?
I'll stay home forever
Where two and two always makes five

I'll lay down the tracks
Sandbag and hide
January has April's showers
And two and two always makes five

It's the devil's way now
There is no way out
You can scream and you can shout
It is too late now

Because!

You have not been
Payin' attention
Payin' attention
Payin' attention
Payin' attention (x4)

I try to sing along
But the music's all wrong
'Cause I'm not
'Cause I'm not
I swat 'em like flies but like flies the buggers keep coming back and NOT
But I'm not
All hail to the thief
All hail to the thief
But I'm not
But I'm not
But I'm not
But I'm not

Don't question my authority or put me in the dock
'Cause I'm not
'Cause I'm not
Oh go and tell the king that the sky is falling in
When it's not
But it's not
But it's not
Maybe not
Maybe not


update: is this about having a monkey on my back? are all these things monkeys on my back?

A 4.2 Next Door

This morning Guy is in the shower downstairs and Rx is in bed with me. We're trying to get up. She looks out the window and says, "Mommy, Clem's (our cat) outside!" Then SLAM and SCRAPE!!! We're in an earthquake. I register how loud it is, and hard, and immediately start moving across the bed, which is tempurpedic and really hard to move on, and Rx is saying, "What is that? What is that?!" She's getting progressively louder and more scared. And I'm not answering her because I'm focused on moving to the doorway and I'm sort of pulling her along with me, or she's moving with me, not sure. Before I can get to the opposite corner of the bed,  Guy is there and he says, "It's ok, it's ok!" and I keep moving and bringing her with me and by the time I'm standing in the doorway with my arms covering her entire body, it's over. Guy is in the middle of the room saying, "It's ok! It's just an earthquake! It's ok!"

Then we hear the rumbling noise of the garbage truck outside. Moving along like nothing's happened.

Rx says, "I hope space is ok."


A few days later I asked Rx what she thought was happening when the earthquake happened. She said she thought the moon moved because the stars needed room to grow.

Welcome to Hell

There's a special little corner in hell for this guy. He will burn for all eternity. If there is no hell in the afterlife, it will happen now. There are few things to be sure of in life, but this is one of them. Motherfucker.

A Moment of Zen

In an effort to put a quarter in the washing machine and clean the nazi story (below) out of my head, there's this.

Ex Nazi gets 4 years in prison as accessory to 300,000 murders

WHAT?

The absurdity of this sentence...I'm speechless. About 7am this morning CNN reported that the 94-year-old ex-Nazi, Oskar Groening has been sentenced to only 4 years in prison because he "deserves to experience freedom after serving time."

DESERVES?!

DESERVES to experience FREEDOM after helping Hitler kill 300,000 Jews?

There are no words, really. No words. Throw your hands down in defeat. This can't be understood.

The updated CNN story is now missing the words "deserves freedom".


Speechless.

Today Love Wins.

Made a sticker, marched in the parade.
Shed a thousand happy tears that day.
Explained the events to my 4-year-old, "Boys can marry boys, and girls can marry girls if they want. Before, they couldn't and that wasn't fair."
She asked if we could get married now.
She drew a picture of the two of us surrounded by hearts to take with me to the parade.
I did.
She asked me when the happy tears would end.
I said, Not for a long time, Baby, Not for a long time.
We listened to Obama on the radio. She practiced whistling. She got it when I said I needed to listen to our President. Quiet please, Love, I need to hear the President.
We got to her school, I asked her teacher like every day, "How are you?" She exploded with jubilance, "GREAT, actually!!!"
I knew she knew. I knew why.
I told her, Me Too!
And we both stood there, crying and laughing and feeling so happy and my daughter just watched.
I hope it's her first memory, this day. That day. The day my happy tears would never end.
When my boss walked into work on this wonderful wonderful day, he put his arms up in the air--like a diva about to wail, like an opera queen he yelled, "It's our day, motherfuckers!"
I couldn't contain myself.
I shot both bat-wing arms up in the air and yelled and whooped.
On the way home that day we listened to Louis Prima. I danced like an old timer; like a shuffle and a clap, a shuffle and a clap. All evening long, a shuffle and a clap.
What a wonderful thing. A wonderful wonderful wonderful thing.
My best friend and me. We walked the parade and performed the famous "soldier's kiss" in front of every big camera all the way up Market Street in the glorious city of San Francisco.

I guess that's how I got this contusion.

Mezcal is strong!

Individual

This Jones says Yes to being who you are. No to mediocrity. No to followers. Yes to those who Question Authority and Do It Anyway, and Yes to love.

Just sayin'.