Ewan McWarhol

Kathleen-ercise

kathleen hanna. has there ever been a cuter girl rock star than her? when i saw bikini kill in 1995 i found kathleen unbearable, choosing instead to drink budweiser out of a plastic cup in the lobby underneath pictures of jerry. she bounced incessantly around the stage like a chipmunk on crack, dressed in a red-and-black-stripe toni basil unitard.

then years later i hear le tigre and i can't get enough.

Pink Discussion

guy and i have a discussion on Pink. guy says, I like her. i say, I don't. I say I don't like her because she seems so contrived. guy says, She's manufactured coolness. Like Lenny Kravitz. he says this because he knows i secretly like lenny kravitz. No way, I say. Lenny's style matches his music. Pink seems insincere because her pink mohawk is completely inconsistent with her beyonce sound. the only conclusion you can draw is that both styles are totally fake making her way more fake than Lenny.

guy says, Ok. You have a point there.

Word

Taxonomy: The classification, or categorization, of things

my friend P. once told me that when he's feeling manic, he'll organize his books by smell.

that is obviously Advanced Taxonomy.

Unemployed Art 9

ha ha! Johnny Lydon.

Unemployed Art 8

The Torture King. Also a part of the "opening up to new ideas" period.

Uemployed Art 7

Alexander Shulgin prescribed MDMA to those with depression or PTSD.

Unemployed Art 6

another version of the karla drawing.

Unemployed Art 5

this is a drawing of my best friend during sophomore and junior year in college. she's famous in the czech republic but lived in LA her whole life. i lost track of her 13 years ago and can't find her. there's nothing recent about her on the inter-web.

"The Vines." that tells you exactly how old this drawing is. i made it when they had that one big hit song that sounded sort of like nirvana.

(wouldn't it be cool if someone recognized karla and gave her my email? maybe this is a modern day WANTED poster)
(ps. her hair is actually blonde, not pink)

Unemployed Art 4

This illustration had an illustrious life. It went from 2"x3" jpeg on the computer to 32"x48" acrylic painting on the wall.

Later, I traded it for an airline ticket to Hawaii.

Unemployed Art 3

this illustration is a good example of the "opening up to new ideas" period during Unemployment 2001.

Unemployed Art 2

i don't even remember how i made this one. sometime early in the unemployment stage of 2001. the enthusiastic detail indicates its position in the genre.

Ur-ine trouble

wow, i remember when your only way out was drinking a couple gallons of water and pure goldenseal tincture two days before taking the test.

Unemployed Art

sort of distractingly, my need to find old graphic pieces so i may re-enter the graphic design world (bleh), means i come across majorly old art. and lots of memories.

above is a good example.

i made this when i was unemployed before, in 2001. this was towards the end of a long time of not working. the weirdness, the lack of cohesiveness is an indicator that i had gone past being bored and bummed and deciding to expand my portfolio, past coming up with good ideas and making a nice portfolio, past drilling those new practices in over and over and over and on to being dried up and left with nothing but a derangement of the senses.

Illogical Spock

poor leonard nimoy on colbert report. to explain his new photo collection, he says it's because "women in america are 25% heavier than models in ads..."

yeah, but that's an old idea. what else ya got?

"...and so women think they have to look like models, but they don't. american women are beautiful, and this is what's real."

ok, so, let's see the pictures.



whoa, aren't those ladies a little bigger than 25% of this?:



so, realistic ideas about beauty mean: not very thin but quite large? shucks, i was really hoping to see a photo of someone like me.

hmm, leonard nimoy. not sure you have a case there. especially because all the other women you photograph are super skin-nay.

Native Tongue

this list of 60 Things Worth Shortening Your Life For really speaks my language. i love how most items on the list are expanded upon except for 8. Butter and 9. Drugs. no explanation necessary there.

this one is also special: 41. Fried dill pickles at Cock of the Walk in Natchez, Mississippi.

Cock of the Walk, besides having a great name, is a place i spent many quality hours eating fried catfish and hushpuppies, and drinking my sweet tea out of a tin cup as a kid. it's just over the river from a town i lived in, in LousAnne. we never knew of endangering our lives back then. and the south still lives largely in ignorance.

wish i still did sometimes. oh wait, i do!

Injury Log #1: Premiere Edition

starting this week i'm going to keep a log of the previous week's injuries. the reason for this is twofold.

1. do i really injure myself as often as it seems?
2. is there method in the injuty-inflicting madness?

right now i am typing normal style with my left hand and hunt-n-peck style with my right hand. why? well, on friday night, after having had several drinks, and perhaps moving too fast, i was reaching into something to retrieve something else. i cannot recall what i was doing or where i was. but i slammed my hand down into this object and the edge of my fingernail on my right hand hit the edge of this object with such force as to bend the fingernail back almost all the way to the base of the nail. blood surged underneath the injury filling it quickly and eventually spilling out all sides of the fingernail. i stared at it and thought about how grateful i was to be full of anesthesizing liquor, then flushed it with water. the blood tried to find it's way out again, but i just let it dry along the edges of the nail, quickly creating a dam. now it's been two days and besides constant throbbing and a slight swelling, it appears the nail is starting to rise up from the finger, presumably to eventually fall off competely. there are like, white air pockets underneath the nail as well as purple splotches. i cried out this morning when i jammed it into a pile of clothing, and was filled with the sickening feeling of being separated from another body part.

my nail is working it's way off my body.

this morning i slammed my middle right toe into the vacuum cleaner, tearing skin off, and a bit of toenail. it hurt so bad, it didn't hurt at first. there was some bleeding in the numb area.

two weekends ago i walked into an open drawer with my bare legs inflicting a small hematoma on my thigh and a deep purpling underneath. two days later i fell down the front steps ass first. i was bending over to pick some old, rotting pumpkins up off the deck/stairs, which were super slick from a week of rain and moss growth. when i came back up from bending over, my feet slid out from under me and i slammed straight down on my upper left buttock, then to my right, then down four or five stairs in that position. when i hit bottom, the momentum slammed my body forward onto the bricks, where i caught myself hard on my hands to finally land in a forced on-all-fours position.

my ass developed a severe bruise with purpling and hard yellow splotches. there were scattered small bruises on my thighs. for three days afterward, i was in extreme muscular pain like i had just fallen down a black diamond ski run. shoulders, upper arms, forearms, left leg, butt.

that's all i can recall for log #1.

C-C-C-C-Colors

pretty. and a bargain to boot. or...shoe. i don't know which ones i want. how about all?

Special for Valentine's Day: Love Obit

strangely, it makes sense.
definitely check out the video.

Which lane on the freeway are you?

tonight, as i drove home from guy's office where i worked again today, i stayed in the slow slow lane, then moved to the slow lane. man, those people drive so slow! why?? i'm a beginner, and i know how to handle 75mph. why was i in the slow lane, you might wonder if you happen to be one of 4 people who read this...well, my car was being weird today. it was shuddering when i started it up and then it "stalled" i guess? i don't know, anyway, it quit at a stoplight and i totally panicked, but got it going. i am horrified, nothing less than horrified, at the thought of stalling on the freeway and being in the center lane, or the lane just left of that lane, where i usually cruise. the idea of the car just stopping, just the thought, makes all the blood run out of my head in a hot rush.

as i drove 55mph in the second-to-right lane, this got me thinkin'. each lane on the freeway seems to have a particular personality occupying it. far right is retarded, plainly put. next to that is maybe beginners who are more scared than me, somehow, or really old people, or moms with newborn babies they'd rather not have in a car at all.

the center lane is people who know how to hit 70mph, but might brake for the turns in the freeway (of which there are tons here in the BA), and will most likely brake when hitting that slalom heading north after the golden gate bridge. then we have the lane just left of that which feels good to me. non-brakers on the slalom, but no one going 80mph, that's for the far left lane. those people...that's where guy drives in his heavy mini-suv. that's where you find young men driving mercedes sedans and porsche cayennes. their base speed seems to be 80. they are the maniacs who think nothing of crossing 5 lanes to the right to gain a couple feet that their crazy-lane wouldn't allow. and while i don't like this lane, i do drive it when i go to napa, on the long stretches between novato and sear's point, and if anyone, ANYONE going slower than 75 is in that lane...well, sometimes i act aggressively.

all this slow driving today got me thinking. which lane in the highway are you? far right? next to far right? center? next one over to the left? one more over from that? and then i see this when i get home.

Brain pills! What are ya gonna do!

i wonder if my ADD medicine is making me bi-polar. just kidding. maybe not.

Lola interrupted

i sent the obit i wrote to my sister, and she followed up with this:

the doctor said she had never seen such a dainty maincoone (sic)- she was just like water. the night before we put her to sleep, she kept waking me up and laying by my head, trying to comfort me. can you believe it. to the end she was always thinking of me. i miss her so much. i love you, thank you.

god. why does beauty have to hurt so much? what is that all about anyway? if i wanted to find out, what would i google? "beauty that hurts" "when pain comes from nice things" ??

Gener taking photos in his sleep

who knew one could access gene ween's flickr set?
they're really beautiful.

July for everyone

love miranda july.

new brilliance from her here.

PLUS a movie based on one of her stories is in production and co-stars kim gordon as a masochistic nurse (?). i can see that.

below is a simple blog post of miranda's. she's so freakin' smart. this one reminds me of my friend D. shout out to D.

About that Son

forgot about this. heard about it a long time ago. the time has finally come.

i read a review of this unusual documentary saying that it was profoundly disappointing to see one's hero in a new light. in a light that shows he was a "jerk." this statement is supported by a quote from kurt about how much he despises people and judges them based on how they look.

i want to tell this poor, most likely very young reviewer-guy that he should have known kurt was like this, didn't he ever read the lyrics? besides, every teen-20something feels like this at some point.

oh wait. or do they?

i did.

it's easy to forget kurt was a child, basically, when he aimed and shot. he died when i was 24, he was 27 - and in much the same way people see themselves as staying the same age - in my mind, kurt is now grown-up like me and very far away from that kind of immature thinking, so it's really nothing to get upset about.

poor reviewer-guy. did he think it was all an act?

watch the trailer. it looks and sounds like an amazing little flick.

out on DVD February 19.

Sending out an SOS

every time I apply for a job, I feel like I'm casting a bottle with a note in it, out to sea.

i also feel that my chances of having an interview for said job is as great as someone finding my message in the bottle.

Youth News

Daydream Nation, the album, to be turned into a teen comedy movie? am i reading that right? or are they just stealing the name?

How weird!

also: more youth here.

All better

cancer cancer everywhere...but not in our neighbor, the guitarist, anymore...

he's been battling throat cancer since last june and was declared cancer free today!!

FINALLY! something good. can you imagine the weight that would be lifted off your shoulders? can you imagine how insanely good you'd feel after hearing that diagnosis, after thinking that you were about to die for almost a year?!

god! it's just such GREAT FUCKING NEWS!

Goodbye beautiful Lo

lola. what a beautiful girl. she came into my sister's life 10 years ago as a surprise. we had gone to the SPCA to find a cat for my mom and my sister saw her. i didn't witness the exhange between them that made it suddenly obvious that my sister would bring her home. i just remember my sister coming towards us, saying, "um, look at this kitty...um, i think i have to take her." and she was so beautiful, and so like our cat growing up. a gorgeous tabby maine coon, but silver, not black, like Ed had been. so feminine...we all three sat at the adoption desk for the prerequisite hour answering questions about my sister's cat knowledge, getting Lola's history, getting instructions for her particular needs, being told that people had adopted her and brought her back because she bites, knowing in our hearts that that would not be the case with us, with my sister. we understand, she understands, how to love and care deeply for an intelligent ("troublesome") cat.

my mom left that day without a cat, but we had found perfection in Lola. she clearly belonged to my sister who is also beautiful and rare, like you might not catch her glow if the shutter speed is too slow.

Lo had been criminally declawed. it may not be illegal but declawing should be a crime. it puts the cat in danger of not being able to defend themselves, not to mention the pain they go through post-surgery...where their little feet hurt from the broken knuckle area (declawing takes out not just a claw but a knuckle), and they can't even shuffle their kitty litter around without discomfort. there were many special instructions and warnings, as the SPCA is rightfully wont to do. they let my sister know Lola could never be let outside.

fortunately, my sister questions authority, and Lo has had a wonderful time outside, watching birds, trees, bugs, all the things cats love to trip out on. Lo has had that. and she has been fine because she is smart enough to deal with her handicap. and she is not a problem, and she has been deeply loved for 10 years.

Lola, she moves like water. smooth, without ruffle. gracefully, with intent. her intelligence and discrimination reminds us of why we love cats, and maine coons in particular. tail like a mink stole, cutting clean figure 8s in the air. watchful, knowing. (oh Lo. i am heartbroken that you have to go.)

Lo has cancer, and tomorrow is her last day.



(picture above is a portrait i made of her in 2001. it doesn't begin to do her justice.)

The Child

The Child is stepping out. Singing in musicals, modeling for chanel and maybe possibly interning at Rolling Stone soon.

courtney love calls her 15-year-old daughter, "A gay man trapped in a woman's body. Just like me."

well, whatever, Frances Bean Cobain sure has gotten busy. she also says things like "i have the attention span of a rabbit on cocaine."

whoa there nelly!!

"What I Killed Today"

very powerful site here. and it teaches powerful new words and terms.

like "body degloving."

Compensation: no pay

what are people thinking with this kind of job posting? i just have to wonder because they're everywhere. is the post-er expecting something like this?: "oh sure, why not? i certainly don't have my own work to work on and i need new work experience even though i'm a professional. Besides, it's not like looking for a job means i'm looking for money! "

because that is basically what is going on out there.

hide your eyes and hold on to the jobs you hate.
because it is yet another Year of the Intern.

The tale of the crack spider, and the crack spider's bitch

there are lessons in this fable.

Funniest girl alive

no doubt about it.

Screwed

the job market is screwed. we're looking at another 2001-2003. i applied for 200 jobs in those two years, and couldn't even get an interview. when i finally did get a job, i had to take a substantially lower salary than i'd had for quite a few years. this is sucking. sucking really bad. i almost feel like writing that out loud will make it true, but who i am kidding. it's waaay already happening. i'm starting to have to consider jobs like this one:

"Do you drop terms like “call-to-action” and “open rate” OH NO. into even casual conversation? Are you excited NO by the opportunity of delivering health content directly to those who need it most? NO If so, this is the job for you! ACK!!

The Newsletter and Content Producer is responsible for overseeing Healthline’s newsletter products end-to-end NOT THAT AGAIN, from strategy and planning to execution and reporting. NO!

Requirements
- Entrepreneurial spirit and can-do attitude RUN TO THE BATHROOM
- Understanding of electronic newsletter best practices and standards VOMIT
- Knowledge of online content strategies DON'T SAY STRATEGIES
- Understanding of web statistics and analysis" DIARRHEA TOO