Driving Record

i drove this morning. had to, to help guy...long story. but whenever i drive, it is the only thing that matters that entire day. it's all i can feel. it is so frightening and i can't explain why, why i have this disability, but here it is, my very short driving record:

1. 1987, age 17, drove a mazda around norcal farming town for 10 minutes, never crossing any main roads.
2. 1988, age 18, drove a gigantic sedan of some sort across town in norcal farming town, about a 10 minute drive.
3. 1989, age 19, drove a chrysler lebaron 10 blocks in san diego.
4. 1994, age 24, drove a saturn around santa cruz. i was very high and nearly crashed because i thought i was sharing thoughts with a driver in front of me.
5. 1995, age 25, drove a saturn on a mountain road on the way to tahoe because my sister, who had been driving, had passed out at the wheel. was high then too.
6. 1997, age 27, drove a chrysler lebaron on I-50 heading towards tahoe for 20 minutes, first time using an on- and off-ramp. also set record for holding breath.
7. 2005, age 35, drove some rental car sedan across the rental car parking lot.
8. 2006, age 36, drove a chevy cobalt down 20th street to valencia in san francisco to help boyfriend out. not high, but very early in the morning.

i've never had a license. do i want one? hmmmm. not sure.