my own personal jesus

had dinner with steve last night. i really love him. he is so hilarious. at the end of the night guy struggled to get the last piece of my grandmother's sofa out of steve's garage and into the car, by himself. he said, "i think i can get it in" as he lifted the sofa with great strength. steve said, "isn't it great having a man around. someone who can get it in?!" and we laughed at the sauciness of that statement, slapping each other's arms at the same time. i was startled when he reminded me of his age. Age 73.

steve bought guy and i dinner at luna, a garden restaurant on castro street. i've always loved luna even though it is terribly overpriced. steve grabbed the check at the end of the night and said, I'm buying! i'm the oldest! and then, Are you going to get upset that i want to buy dinner? you know some people do.

before guy arrived we had been talking about society ladies and their fashion sense. we knew all the same names, Nan Kempner, Denise Hale, Dodie Rosenkranz...he went to school with Dodie's husband. he knew all the people in the book i'm reading now by san francisco's society-rejected rich kid, Sean Wilsey, about his upbringing by the hateful Dede Wilsey, formally Dede Traina. we talked about her work with the DeYoung museum and the pros and cons of the design, widely reviled but loved by me.

isn't it cool how a 36 year old and a 73 year old have so much to talk about?

steve is alone now, he has been for over a year since his partner of 43 years died of liver cancer. he told me some details about that experience...how he slept in a separate room for the first time in forever the same night that tim died. how the nurse hospice sent woke him up at 4am to tell him what had happened. how he's trying to have a special obelisk and finials added to tim's gravesite. how everyone loved tim, how accepting his bereavement group in monterey is of his gayness. how he doesn't really need to go anymore but he still does because he enjoys their company.

i wish i could go out to dinner with steve at least once a week. It might be a better option than therapy.