ever been grilled in an interview by a botoxed drill sergeant? it sucks. there is no reading of that face at all. there is no way to know what she's thinking, or how you're doing. my interview today for a copywriter position with a very big "6th in the country" cosmetics company was maybe my worst interview experience ever. here is a snippet of what i endured this morning:
What do you think of a woman who likes to wear makeup.
great, if it makes her feel good about herself.
what does sex have to do with makeup?
a confident woman is a sexy woman.
let me see your makeup bag. hmmm, only three lip glosses. you're not very into makeup are you?
it's never been a priority for me. i like skin care. but that doesn't mean i don't know a lot about it. i read a lot and am good at remembering particular beneficial...
your resume says you're a pop culture enthusiast. what does that mean?
i know a lot about music, movies, books, art...
what are you reading right now?
i just finished the Namesake and now i'm reading Wintering, a fictional account of what sylvia plath's life might have been like just before she died.
what is your favorite movie? favorite movie of all time.
boogie nights. i think pt anderson is immensely talented.
hm. what is your favorite comedy.
(i pause because boogie nights is hilarious) well, i like weird-funny. i loved Chuck and Buck. it was mike white's first film. he's more famous for school of rock.
i like wedding crashers. we're not into "dark" here. we are all about the surface...so, you're obviously smart and know how to write, but what i've got to figure out, is what a girl who does not use makeup, and has barely only ever used our product has to offer us. hiring you is a huge investment. it's a risk.
well, this kind of writing comes naturally to me. it's very close to my own voice, and i'm very intuitive.
how do you feel about criticism? i'm very upfront, how will you feel when i send you back three times telling you your copy isn't strong enough?
well, obviously you're more experienced, i would believe that you know better than I and so i would go back to the drawing board, study the voice more, and maybe pick up an InStyle.
so you're not a sissy. you're not going to cry if i critisize. you have a lot of experience, and you're used to it.
yes.
give me 10 words to describe what you felt when you got a whiff of (product name).
this went on and on and on for an hour. she interupted me several times, when she had already gleaned enough information to judge me, or got bored. she reminded me of christopher walken in Biloxi Blues as the drill sergeant who gave matthew broderick an exceedingly hard time in order to "toughen him up."
i say fuck that. fuck toughening up. and you know what? lots of makeup is gross, and totally ages people. ew.
2 comments:
How totally weird. I was searching for cosmetic derm blogs and I find yours and feel like What? did I know her in another life. My name is julie, I have a parrot, african grey named peter I saved from a dungeon home, I am in awe of your writing ability, the more of your blog i read the weirder (i can't spell to save my life) it gets. So the botox drill sargent was named julie, that was wierd. And I agree too much make-up is yuck, that's why I like this stuff. Plus I prob. have 10 years on you and we need a little more help down the line here, using this stuff and selling to AVOID ever needing botox. Anyway, a great read, my "boss" would hire you in a heartbeat. But they are in Southern CA...and sounds like you guys just found a great place to live. Mayberry on Acid, gotta love that!
Jeez, Lou...at the point when she asked to see my make up bag, I'd tell her to take my make up bag and shove it up her tight, botoxed ass. What kind of fucked up interview was that? There's a company you do not want to work for anyhow.
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