"I spit in your general direction"

it happened folks.
holy motherfucking shit.
holy crapping on your tombstone.
holy mother of all peanut shells.
holy moly of the religious order of all molys to the utmost and the highest power.

i got my driver's license today. today. on july 30 in 2007, i got my license.
who knew it would be this day? who ever could say?
i am 36.11 and today i got my driver's license.

i immediately drove to napa and visited my sis and nephew. "hi, uh, so, think i can come over?" i asked her.
her voice was holding back a million thrills, filling her throat, "yeah! YEAH! you can come over! what..."
"i got my license! i can come see you!"
"AHHHHH!" my sister screamed into the phone. "AHHHHHH!!! you did it!!!"

what i did, if you're an arachnophobe is essentially walk through a dark 10-mile long hallway filled with spiderwebs and poisonous arachnids the size of your hand.
the thing i did today, if you're afraid of heights, is parachute from an airplane.
what i did, if you're afraid of snakes, is jump into that cave Indy jumped into in ye olde movie.
essentially, what i did today by accomplishing the receipt of a driver's license, if you're me, is the very scariest thing to ever be afraid of, since the age of 12. like, the most horrifying, unaccomplishable, totally unattainable, never-to-have and never-to-experience thing ever to exist in an entire reality of and in this age.

it happened today.
who ever could have known.

i feel beyond jubilant. while i did have actual surgery last week, and it wasn't exactly pleasant, and it was a big deal, and while i do not want to trump such a momentous occasion as being cut open and surviving, i do have to say that acquiring a driver's license feels like i've had some retardation tissue lobbed off, and that feels far more significant than some excruciating endometriosis tissue.

this louisiana jones, as of today, is just a little bit less retarded and it feels amazing.