Identified

I lost my name when I was two years old.

My mom had divorced my dad due to his excessive and unrelenting party lifestyle, and married a man who couldn't be more opposite. This man, in a sweeping show of generosity—what I've been led to believe—asked my dad if he could adopt me so that he and my mom could construct a solid family unit sporting the same last name. My mom thought this would "fix" the fact that I would be different from the future family. What she failed to realize is that nothing could change the fact that I would be different from the future family. She only succeeded in offering me the knowledge that my dad was able to "give me up". She very effectively eliminated a non-problem and replaced it with a hugely painful problem.

And then I actually started to grow up and actually became a person very much like my dad, which made me the opposite of the future family in every way imaginable. But hey, I had the same last name so it was all ok.

When I got to college my dad and I began to build a relationship. He was partying less, and I was partying more, but nothing could erase the fact that we were very alike and had a lot of catching up to do. I did not fault him for "giving me up." Who could think straight with that kind of blood-alcohol level? No, I appreciated finally knowing that I came from someone on Earth. That I was not dropped out of the sky by an alien race. Knowing my dad meant accepting myself. No one else in the family did. I was a grade-A weirdo; a social artist raised in a family of anti-social personalities; a writer and a friend in a house of friendless, wordless people.

Today is a great day. Not because I finally have the family I always needed. No, they remain the same and will die the way they are. Today I reversed that mistake my mom made taking my identity away and pretending nothing bad ever happend.

Today I chose my own name and it's not theirs anymore. I shed the rough, uneven skin that was placed on my face at age two. 40 years later, I am me again. The name I have is not the one I was born with, but the one my daughter has.

I have my own family now and they're just as weird as me.