A bio-dad bio-hazard

The first thing i saw when i walked in to my bio-dad's apartment, and what was to be mine and guy's bedroom for two nights and three days, were long black legs sticking out of the wall, near the floor, and to the left of the window. i looked around quickly and announced, "yeah, i think there's a black widow in here." that's not good. i'm an arachnophobe and black widows are pretty much the scariest and this mofo...this guy was MASSIVE. i didn't even see it's full size because guy killed it. i didn't have to ask, he knew to.

also-phobic bio-dad sounded surprised then, but later admitted that he chose the other bedroom when he moved in because this one had been full of spiders.

i realized pretty quickly that the entire apartment was a bio-hazard. never have i seen such filth in a home. because i wasn't drinking around him, and can't just sit still and listen to someone talk (hello, hated school), i immediately started cleaning upon arrival. i scrubbed and scrubbed at what he described as 7 months worth of grime, all over the kitchen counters, the kitchen table, and oven which was especially difficult given all the nooks. i couldn't begin to remove all the disgustingness as it was so hardened and ground in, it appeared to have been seared to surfaces by a blowtorch.

when i went into the bathroom, and didn't feel like scrubbing or even existing in that room, i put towels over the filth-encrusted bathroom sink so i wouldn't vomit while brushing my teeth.

at one point bio-dad suggested i take a hot bath to help with The Pain. he suggested it more than once. that meant that more than once i had to picture my naked body sitting on top of something so nasty i didn't want my bare feet anywhere near it much less my vaginal canal. bio-d explained that he just feels complacent all the time and really doesn't do much except drink coffee, smoke and watch tv. he explained that he has what he needs in those three items.

yeah, he's quite a character.

my guy says to me, bio-dad's a character. that's what you say about people who are overwhelming. bio-dad never stops smoking or talking. he even makes jokes about how he never stops smoking or talking, but he doesn't know what else to do. he also tells us to watch out for hustlers in new orleans, while hustling us to stay longer.

we had one nice moment. we both discovered that we resolve our uncomfortable feelings about death using string theory. that's not a conversation i could have with my mom, or an idea that i've heard anyone else reveal. and that's the way it's supposed to be with parents. you need both of them to get the full picture.

even if it means nightmare visions for a few months, of nakedness and grime and black widows. i guess. oh god.