Hurty

pretty small, eh?
all that fuss, and this is the only proof.

i told my doctor in my post-op appointment that "these little buggers sure are hurty," as i pointed to my surgical incisions that were glued shut. he laughed and said, "oh my god. i have all these women who have this surgery and they come out and they're healthy like you and they're very happy about it. then you come in and tell me it hurts! lou!" i told him, "but it's real!" he laughed, said "Here, let me give you a hug. you're a sweetheart."

then after my pelvic exam that made him tell me i could have sex now, that i'm all healed up and good, he took off the rubber gloves, handed me some tissues and i started to ask him a question when he said, "oh no. we can't talk while you're naked. i'll leave, you get dressed, we'll talk. if we were in france we could talk naked. in the US, we cannot." he's a funny guy. did i mention i adore this doctor and think he's amazing?

after getting dressed behind the curtain, my doc came back in and we started talking. he asked what guy's name is again. i told him. he said, "Well, i think he likes you." i started to say, "well, he must..." and doctor d. finished my sentence with "...because you're one high-maintenance broad!" we laughed and he continued, "but i think he sees potential in you." we laughed some more and he told me about how great my surgery went and showed me pictures of my insides. he showed me how my fallopian tubes are clear, and ready for an egg to pass through. he ran this test by pouring a black inky fluid through them, and then took a picture of what the ink looks like when it comes out the other end! it was so cool. i saw my liver, asked him how that was and was highly relieved to hear that it's totally healthy.

after all was said and done, i tried to tell him i was grateful, but i started to cry, i couldn't do it without freakin' crying and as i walked away, down the hall, doctor d. said, "oh no, don't cry on me." and i just threw my hand up in the air and gave him a backwards wave without looking. "BYYYYYE!"

"See you in SIX MONTHS miss jones!"




ps. my belly button doesn't really look like a butterfly. i did that using my new trick.