In cars

Some Things I Love About Driving (having a car, in my case).

singing loudly.
i've always been afraid of the sound of my voice singing. it's not bad, it's just untrained and lacks confidence. i think i could be taught how to sing. i was in choir from 4th grade until 9th, but it was a huge choir and i wasn't afraid to sing out. i also might not have sounded so great. who could tell one voice among a 100. driving down the freeway, i have discovered to great delight, that i can crank the stereo and sing very very very loudly and no one can hear me, and it's insanely fun.

no one can tell me what i'm doing on any given day.
getting rides and depending on mass transit for 36 years wasn't easy. especially for someone like me who likes to have a lot going on, a lot of places to go, a lot of things to do. i also happen to hate being told what to do, so depending on others to get to where i wanted to go unleashed torrents of frustration that is BAM! out of my life. suddenly, that part of my personality is totally gone. thank god. it was the 15-year-old still inside me and boy, was she an angry kid.

control of the stereo.
even if guy is in the car with me, i get to listen to boss hog yell or perry farrell scream, until he says he's had enough, just like i had to listen to news of people dying in baghdad morning after morning after morning when i was riding with him. before guy, i was still at the mercy of whoever was driving. and this is especially tough for someone as picky, and as emotionally and physically affected by sound as i am.

being alone.
it's funny how hard it is to be alone in the City. if you're not at home, you have no chance of being alone. even in a bathroom stall, you're so not alone. and if you happen to catch an empty bathroom, guess what, it won't last long. having a car gives me a place where i can cry if i need to. i've never had this before. and i cry a lot. when i return to the car after work, where i have been bombarded by people all day, i get in, close the door and feel the still silence all the way to my bones. it's so peaceful. i sit still for a second and let it sink in. i sigh. i turn the key. i have entered my world and no one can touch me or affect me or bug me there. it's miraculous! it's a mini-home that moves around. genius!

*picture at top is me in my new car with a mexican wrestler mask on.