yellow spiders that build webs in front of doorways, in cars and across pathways come out to play in june. i don't recall when they went away last year, but i'm guessing september. now that we've lived in our country house for a year, there is a full picture of exactly how much my spider phobia problem will be challenged. and when. and by whom.
arriving in september are black and white striped and brown and white striped and yellow and white striped spiders who get fat and huge and fast. they buy up real estate in more secluded places than their little yellow friends, although i did run into one face first last year while exiting the house through the front door. it was big enough to firmly grab with my hand, feel it's spiny body break like midget wooden matchsticks and hear it hit the plynl when i threw it down.
these mean, fat striped guys leave sometime in december. then it gets too cold and they go away.
until may. may brings wolf spider-sized tar-black octopeds filled with evil. they want to eat me, they can consume my flesh, they are too large to crush. i usually just run from them or throw heavy objects on top of them. like my hardcover copy of IT.
who knew there were spider seasons? not this city girl.
Q: isn't it just the funniest joke that this jumpy uncontrollable arachnaphobe bought a car without a roof, thereby unimaginably inviting her biggest phobia to reveal itself during the most inconvenient time ever?
A: no.
so hello little yellow spider season, so glad to have you back. in my eyes. in my mouth. in my hair. in my shoes. in my plants. in my rattan.
on my cat.
(picture immediately above by "P.S., baby you know it.")
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