For Sale - has broken english

Still works but gets caught on stuff.
Call 415) 867-5309.
Best offer.

Prayer Sent

Babelogue
I haven't fucked much with the past, but I've fucked plenty with the future. Over the skin of silk are scars from the splinters of stations and walls I've caressed. A stage is like each bolt of wood, like a log of Helen, is my pleasure. I would measure the success of a night by the way by the way by the amount of piss and seed I could exude over the columns that nestled the P.A. Some nights I'd surprise everybody by skipping off with a skirt of green net sewed over with flat metallic circles which dazzled and flashed. The lights were violet and white. I had an ornamental veil, but I couldn't bear to use it. When my hair was cropped, I craved covering, but now my hair itself is a veil, and the scalp inside is a scalp of a crazy and sleepy Comanche lies beneath this netting of the skin. I wake up. I am lying peacefully I am lying peacefully and my knees are open to the sun. I desire him, and he is absolutely ready to seize me. In heart I am a Moslem; in heart I am an American; in heart I am Moslem, in heart I'm an American artist, and I have no guilt. I seek pleasure. I seek the nerves under your skin. The narrow archway; the layers; the scroll of ancient lettuce. We worship the flaw, the belly, the belly, the mole on the belly of an exquisite whore. He spared the child and spoiled the rod. I have not sold myself to God.

- Patti Smith

(thank you TC)

Photo above by Annie Leibovitz. It says proud to me. Pride is good. It says suvivor. Proud is necessary to surviving.

19 Excellent Quotes from Funny People

Best recent twitter posts by my favorites. Fill your day with these fun nuggets.

1. rands rands
"Hate is fear amplified by the lack of knowledge" 3:07 PM Nov 27th

2. RainnWilson rainnwilson
I am thankful for pie. 4:10 PM Nov 25th

3. Joshua Allen fireland
I wrote you a haiku / But it had no grace / I wrote you a sonnet / But ran out of space / Anyway here's a drawing of a penis on your face 8:47 AM Nov 17th

4. Joshua Allen fireland
"Dad, are angels real?" "Yep." "They're watching over us?" "Every minute of every goddamn day." "Dad, I'm scared." "Me too, champ. Me too." 3:36 PM Nov 4th

5. Merlin Mann hotdogsladies
"Welcome! You appear to suffer from mood swings and black-and-white thinking. Site best viewed with cognitive therapy and SSRIs. Continue »" 1:27 PM Nov 3rd

6. rands rands
Hire those who move faster than you, can read your mind, and want your job. 12:21 PM Nov 3rd

7. rands rands
Authenticity = ( Trust x Timeliness ) 11:04 PM Nov 2nd

8. Merlin Mann hotdogsladies
Nah. "Hypocrisy" is vainly hoping you've hidden an inconsistency. Publicly contradicting yourself is called "being honest." And it rules. 9:03 AM Nov 2nd

13. rands rands
There's really is no replacement for screwing up. 7:52 PM Oct 21st

14. RainnWilson rainnwilson
For Halloween I'm wrapping myself in aluminum foil and going as a giant balloon with no kid inside. 8:43 AM Oct 16th

9. LoozyJones LoozyJones
people are afraid of me too, lisa. it's because we're tall, loud and forget that we're not supposed to tell the truth. 8:56 AM Nov 2nd in reply to lisarein

10. LoozyJones LoozyJones
wondering if my psychiatrist is a terrorist. that in his off-time he's dancing to cornershop and hating women. 8:24 AM Nov 2nd

11. Bob Dylan Says BobDylanSays
Broken dishes, broken parts, 12:18 PM Oct 29th

12. Bob Dylan Says BobDylanSays
I won't be a stand-in for an old love 2:18 PM Oct 23rd

15. rands rands
When you say "It all happens for a reason", I hear "I have no idea what just happen and no idea what to do next" 7:31 AM Oct 16th

16. Merlin Mann hotdogsladies
I can't prove reading books makes you smarter, but there's compelling anecdotal evidence for what happens when you don't. 10:33 AM Oct 7th

17. Scott Simpson scottsimpson
Every hundredth or so person I pass on the street gives me a look like they know my secret. I wish they would tell me what it is. 10:23 AM Oct 7th

18. Tom Green tomgreenlive
Shit. I think I am insane. I just figured it out. Damn! What the hell am I gonna do now? 10:05 AM Oct 7th

19. Michael Ian Black michaelianblack
Sometimes when I floss I pretend the floss is a thong and my teeth are all tiny butt cracks. 7:21 PM

Mom Got High

A,
how are you?

my mom being here the last three days saved me from sure serious toxicity. she was strong for me and gave me good advice and a lot of times no advice at all, just a lot of love. i don't know what i'm going to do about my situation.

i'm sitting around reading and getting high all day. oh that reminds me...it was so funny. last night i showed my mom the marijuana chocolate D gave me that BI made. it's white chocolate. she loves white chocolate. i said, do you wanna see how marijuana tastes? it adds an interesting flavor, like an herb...which it is. she said ok and had a bite. i told her That's not enough to do anything to you. she said, Well, can i have some more and i told her how much i had eaten in the past and how it had not affected me. she chose a piece bigger than that. we both proceeded to get super high. she was hilarious. oh my god. we laughed so hard over so much, i thought i was gonna give her a heart attack. all my photos she looked at were SO BEAUTIFUL and the dinner i made was SO AMAZING. it was great to see her experience such high levels of pleasure. she is a depressive and doesn't usually get that. she told me, Well i do feel more relaxed...

i told her about how you call yourself nolte in the morning and she asked why. i showed her the nick nolte dui picture and she almost busted a gut. i have never maybe in DECADES seen her laugh so hard. it was so fun. i had to tell you that.

i love you.
lou

Maybe Jones

Hi.

I'm back.

Maybe.

I thought i might rename The Jones, "The Maybe Jones" because everything is a Maybe right now. I think I flattened the art file though, making text changes a waste of time. So anyway, I'm back.

Maybe.

(It's me, Maybe Jones.)

Gone Fishin'

it's been a fun 3.5 years of Jonesing but i'm outta here for a while.

thanks, readers.
it was so much fun writing for you.
whoever you are.
love,
LJ

The End, My Friend

Over like the blue screen of death.
Over like the first roll of credits...
Like exhaling,
Like crying familiar tears.
Over like you mean it.
Like bad yogurt,
Like rotten sprouts in a jar in yr kitchen window.

Over like breaking.
Like slowing down,
Like falling.
Over like you're never looking up.

Over like that.

Imagine the world without her

she'll leave a lot of responsibility on our shoulders, because she's the oldest, hardest working woman for peace. and she does so much.

witness:
1. Italy sings Imagine
2. The Imagine Peace Tower in Iceland
3. Everything on this page. The lady is BUSY!!
4. Her new record has great reviews, cant wait to get it. PLUS her band features Yuka Honda from Cibo Matto. Yay-ko! Buy it and support her work for Peace. Samples of each song are on her site in the sidebar, PLUS, she's promoting through a cool way: a remix competition, also linked there.

Well, now my day is better. Time to get out of bed and face the City and therapy. Maybe say a few i ii iiis. The City needs it. Marin is filled with it, and that matters even though some of it is fake. My heart needs it.

ok, buying her record now.
peas.

Sandwich Dreams

Sandwiches come and sandwiches go but some remain in your mind forever. As a major sandwich-lover and connosieur, it's time to reflect on some of the best sandwiches out there, sandwiches that are actually missed.

1. The crab sandwich in South City. This is not normally something I order, but it came highly recommended. I have no idea what they did to it, but it was the best-tasting questionable sandwich I've ever had.

2. The black forest ham and swiss cheese with carmelized onions and aioli on a toasted kaiser bun on Potrero Hill. It dripped some delicious and unidentifiable sauce. Unbelievable.

3. The breakfast sandwich: scrambled eggs, two slices of melted american cheese and bacon on a toasted english muffin. Sounds common, but somehow it is the best breakfast sandwich I've ever had. From the same place on Potrero Hill as #2.

4. The salami and swiss with 1/2 sweet mustard & 1/2 mayo and red onions on a dutch crunch in the Financial District. My creation. No one else makes it as well as they do though.

5. The black forest ham and melted swiss with carmelized onions and lemon aioli on a roll at the old MOMA cafe (circa 1995).

6. The Reuben from Max's with pastrami on toasted lo-carb light rye.

7. The Cobb Salad Sandwich from Max's. It had fresh roasted turkey - like you'd get at Thanksgiving - red onions, avocado, bacon, basil aoili, blue cheese, and mayo on a roll. They don't make it anymore. I have not been able to duplicate it myself.

8. The Bistec sandwich at Sol Food in San Rafael. It's grilled steak with melted swiss, avocado, carmelized onions and a mysterious sauce that is to rape and pillage for - all on a toasted long, flat ciabatta. This is my current favorite. I go to Sol Food, sit in the window, read the news on my iphone, and devour this sandwich with a gigantic ice coffee served in a huge Bell Jar. HEAVEN.

Oh my god, I'm starving. I'm not allowed to eat sandwiches at the moment since my stupid meds made me gain 10Ibs. It's gotta be plain roast beef wrapped around gouda with sweet mustard dribbles for this chubbed out girl.

Ahhh, sandwiches, thank you for ruling so much.

Let's Have Some Fun

(click on photo to enlarge)