Day 1: SF to LV

*Some names and identifying characteristics have been changed.
Some sequences and details of events have been changed.
The author has made every effort to embellish as much as possible,
so as to take reader on good ride.

Friday night our roadtrip started with a blast off into the sunrise. We left the Castro district at 10pm with the last of the chores completed by 10:15. We were high on speed and extra edgy. My PMS was reaching a crescendo and really got the edge juice it needed from the methamphetamine.

"This is us leaving on our big roadtrip!" i told guy.
"Yes it is!" he yelled, all round eyes and mischief.

We kissed and tore off.

The next 8.5 hours were often blurry. I had to take my high down a notch with a lot of vodka once we hit I-5. We talked and laughed and listened to music, once in a while stopping for a snort. You know, totally run of the mill roadtrip antics.

Las Vegas popped out of the horizon at 7am. We pulled into a Motel 6, one block off the strip, only to find out we had 6 dangerous hours to kill before check-in. We were two sketchy heads on wobbly legs as we set out to find something to do. We decided on breakfast at the rainforest cafe followed by gambling with money neither of us has. Looking for a dark place to sit and stew for a few hours led us to the Luxor. We sat down and proceeded to spend over $300 total on video poker while drinking vodkas and smoking cigarettes. It was only 10am.

Other time-killing activities included sex in the backseat of our accidental fullsize sedan, a truly exciting teen activity never imagined to be trumped by sex later in the evening that could only be described as SeeSaw Sex. Spinning eyes, red flushed faces and total exhaustion. Ahh, the best.

By 1pm, we were situated by the pool at the Motel 6 in a definite kind of heaven. For one thing there was SUN. SUN. Something that had been eluding San Francisco for a good two months. I sat and read an interview with my favorite actress Jennifer Aniston and guy worked on figuring out how to use his super high-functioning Digital SLR camera. At one point, I realized that I was beginning to relax, to feel like me, and I told guy, This totally rules. He looked up, smiled and said, It does doesn't it. We were now vacationing and feeling pretty stoked.

The rest of the day was spent in bed, watching HBO: Ellen Degeneres standup and some retarded Arnold movie. We ordered the best Thai food delivery I have ever had by evening and crashed out at 9.