(boyfriend) has a new job that's bitchen for many reasons.
1. working alone, no assholes around to take you down
2. working in a redwood grove in marin
3. does not have to take public transpo and experience a certain exposure death from the freewheeling nuthouse that is san francisco (and the 22 fillmore in particular)
for the last six months, there has been talk between us of moving to the east coast, (small farming town) in particular. this has been a somewhat exciting thought because it's something different. bid adieu to the raving, drooling lunatic contingent, bid adieu to overwhelming self-medication and accessibility to such supplies, bid adieu to spinning our hamster wheels, expecting to actually get somewhere.
moving to (small farming town on the east coast) has sounded downright heavenly.
except now. now (boyfriend) has bitchen job in marin and has been exposed to the nice life, a life of space and old growth. and so last night he blurted it out: i want to make a lot of money and move to marin. his eyes got circular and he closed his lips quickly much like the first time he told me he loved me. the words flying out quick and hard like bullets. breathless and exhilarated, yet strong and serious. i have to say, i felt relief.
when thinking of moving to (small farming town on the east coast), we have expressed a lot of the same fears. missing our friends, missing our social lives with said friends and missing the diversity that is the bay area. even the smug storm (thanks trey parker) is more tolerable than a neverending sea of straight, white people. right?
but, ugh. i can't help continuing to wonder...is it a privilege to live in northern california? or is it a prison?
2 comments:
I'm all for the move option. Perhaps I'm biased since it has proven to be the best thing that I've done in quite a long time. Move.
I moved to Berlin a little over 2 years ago. At first I had the same fears that you are expressing. I was especially afraid since, at first glance, Berlin looks like a wasteland/battleground. It's no wonder though, considering that it indeed was a battleground and a wasteland not too long ago (relatively speaking).
We get so spoiled in the Bay Area. The air is fresh, the views are staggering, the streets are relatively clean (in Berlin dog owners don't pick up their dog shit). All in all it's hard to leave this apparent Eden called San Francisco.
But, Eden it is not. The rent is outrageous, the work hours are long, and no one has time to hang out for more than a quick meal and a business card swap and then it's off to the next scene.
There are alternative ways to live and new perspectives to be pondered. Shake up your life a bit and see what change rolls out. Move to the East Coast Ms. Jones. It has potential to unleash a richness that can never be exprienced by staying put, by surrounding yourself with the same crew all the time.
Now I don't mean to suggest that you can't shake up your life for the better while at the same time remaining in San Fran. I just have the luxury of a new perspective and I feel that what I've gained has more than compensated for the loss of pretty views and fresh air. I do miss that fresh air though.
The summers here are warm.
Come visit sometime B.
This has nothing to do with the possibility of you moving. I just love your writing. Glad to be able to see it in this form more often.
-dg
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