on my little vacation away alone...
i wonder.
how many days can one sit and stare at windows, light during the day, dark at night. and stare and wonder what to look at and what to think about certain things and not know which side was up and basically smoked and had momentary panic attacks mixed with optimal moments of independent bliss? how many?
i'm on day 2 and the feeling has never changed. up and down. left and write. right and look.
maybe i should just eat.
(she said, "it's so great, it's like...central air!")
On the way
i'm lost. i stop car in middle of desolate road at night on the way here. sit and try to make iphone gps load a map with only two bars of power. don't realize i have done this until another car passes around me. "oh my god, i'm not on the freaking side of the road, i'm in the lane oh my god, what the fuck, you crazy lunatic what the fuck calm down you're fine, this is ridiculous..."
later today
i am on a bike and i see a big truck blocking my view of what's going on at the intersection. i slow down, about to stop and check the intersection when a red truck quickly swerves past me so close i could hear the guy yell about watching where i'm going and dirt sprays in my eyes and i braked and saw no more traffic and went. later, i turned around and went back home the same way. i saw that the guys had run a stop sign. we would have seen each other then. they almost killed me and it's because they didn't stop at a stop sign. i think i had some intuition happening on this one. i was already slowing when they came within inches of me. faster and they would have slammed me.
no helmet. don't wear those.
no helmet. brain splatter.
criminy.
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