A barrell full of bullshit

i recently kissed my old boss' ass because i was sort of hoping that his wife, the head of (gargantuan retail brand) there, would flow me some freelance copy work. i have totally maintained a very high level of bullshit to make sure this is a possibility in the future.

then i said to myself, are you fucking kidding?

this is my new approach, which i have conjured up due to the fact that i have not received my insurance continuation through COBRA, yet i have paid for it, the check has been cashed and the papers signed, yet i get no answers and am in fact told that i must cease to be "threatening" and "rude" to HR. those of you who know me, um, know that there is not one piece of me that has the capabilities that "threatening" would require.

so here goes:

dear (name of asshole who owns company),
last time i wrote to you i was exceedingly polite and apologized for any misunderstandings concerning my insurance, as well as made it clear to you that the last thing i want is a bad relationship with you...well, it was all bullshit. it was bullshit to the max. it was a barrell full of bullshit.

your company sucks really really big ass. every single one of your employees is miserable. EVERY SINGLE ONE. some of them even get sick before arriving to work in the morning. anxiety attacks while driving, sour stomachs while eating lunch etc. you are known as a liar and a cheapass by every employee you have. no one says it to your face because we were all scarred by the dot com bust and the inability to find work for a couple of years. your employees are so depressed from working for you at such low pay and for such long hours, since you refuse to hire the necessary amount of employees needed to get the work done, that they find it difficult to look for work. you have, in essence, grown a farm of depressed adults that you ply with beer once every three months and think that makes you awesome-boss. "oh, he's so cool, he buys us beer." but really asshole, you are the reason that people are miserable at that work address. and as long as you keep that tyrannical bitch (n) on staff, you will never have a happy crew on the upper deck. (j) got a bigger computer monitor so he wouldn't have to look at her screwed up bitchy face all the time and he's her closest friend! you are a joke. oh, and (r)? he's a bald-faced liar. he lies about why people are fired, hired, raised and dumped. he's called "the politician." did you know that? oh, and everyone thinks you're closeted by the way. it's kind of hard to disagree with them, even though i don't really get that vibe. but i haven't known you as long as they have.

i am one of the lucky ones who escaped and i feel it is time for you to know the truth. pretty soon you'll be paying for (jc's) in-patient mental hospital bills, you can count on that.

sincerely,
your typical ex-employee



so, friends, now you know me to be the passive aggressive pussy that i am, although i would like to add an update: turns out i know an insurance lawyer. i wrote to this lawyer and told her the whole story. she expressed her condolences and noted that they have acted "way out of line and in violation of federal law." she offered to find me an advocate. she also told me i could file a complaint, but that i might feel better just putting it behind me. my choice: i wrote to them and told about the lawyer and what she said and let them know i wouldn't be pursuing anything, they'd wasted enough of my time already.