a friend of mine i've had since the third grade, lost a baby in a miscarriage several years ago, and was devastated. she and her husband spent some time getting over it. she involved herself in erstwhile activities like getting in shape and advancing to a very high position in her company. and she became happy again.
i heard from her recently: she got pregnant again. boy oh boy, was i happy. she and her husband are very kind and funny people. they SHOULD make more people. she told me in an email a couple weeks ago, "i'm pregnant! i'm due in april!" she was so super stoked. we laughed about how my sister's baby and her baby would be in the same grade.
i got notice today, from another good friend of ours, that the baby is gone now. again. that she lost her baby again.
i asked our good friend what i should do. what i should say. i told her i can't stop crying. i can't put myself in her shoes. what should i do. i asked our friend who has sustained loss, who is very wise and very kind. i asked our friend who would know what to do, and who would tell me what to do.
she said, just tell her you're sorry. send her a note. say, "'i'm so sorry.' you know sometimes just hearing those three words can be very comforting." so i did that. i just got her and her husband a card and i wrote, "i'm so sorry." i cried as i bought the card and i cried as i wrote it, but i kept it simple.
i think that's very good advice what our good friend told me to say to them. i think it should be kept in mind for other people with loved friends who experience pain. three words, "i'm so sorry." that's all that's needed sometimes, to provide some comfort when it's needed most.
1 comment:
I think that's all we can do.
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