random sunday thoughts

i hate U2.
and socialists.
and anyone who takes themselves very seriously.
holy crap
what is playing on guy's itunes.
i can't let that thing go wild. oh it was joni mitchell.
i guess i'm not a joni mitchell fan either. is she serious?

"you only paint when you're crazy," he said.
it's true. it's a way away from blackout land.
it's a way away from destruction.
it's a place to put the energy.
it makes ugly paintings, that's too bad.

i dreamt last night that i was pregnant by my college boyfriend. it was present day, but guy and i had broken up for a bit nine months previously and that's when it happened. i was going to marry college boyfriend, and then it hit me, i don't actually want to do that, why am i doing it? i would be HAPPY right now if it was guy i was marrying, instead of walking around all mopey. i don't have to marry the person who inseminated me. this was all very revolutionary in my dream-brain. when i realized this me, guy, college boyfriend and maybe my sisters were swimming in the ocean. there were rapids too. it was difficult but mandatory, necessary to maneuver correctly.

when i realized i could marry guy and suddenly the whole dreary aspect of pregnancy and forced social customs didn't have to exist i was so happy, in my dream i could feel warmth spreading throughout my body, like a firefly.