Monday, March 23, 2009

LoozyJones' Big Fat Diet



my friends have asked me to write down what i ate and did not eat to successfully lose 25-30Lbs last year (dropped 2 sizes) in 2.5-3 months. i have finally done it.

* major disclaimer: i am not a doctor or a nutrionist, just a person who pays attention and is good with numbers. and reads a lot. and remembers everything.


so, here it is:

LoozyJones' Big Fat Diet

Breakfast
1. handful of cherry tomatoes and two string cheeses
2. spoonful of eggs from whole foods (or similar fancy store with pre-made fresh, organic food). if the eggs have ham or bacon in them, fine, but limit getting extra slices of bacon with it.
3. couple slices of steak from whole foods.
4. breakfast burrito. open that mother up and eat everything inside but not the tortilla.
5. two hard-boiled eggs with salt and pepper (the best choice of all)

Lunch
- no matter what, drink a kombucha with lunch every day. try gingerberry or strawberry first. most accessible. they are 3g and 4g sugar each serving, each kombucha is two servings so that's your limit. the other flavors, like guava tend to be 9g per serving, doubling your limit. NO!

1. piece of salmon. get one big enough b/c that's all you get. or get a side salad if you want to go with.
2. chicken salads of any kind, get a 1/2 pint (this is less than half a pound - i didn't know that, had to ask and the grocer made fun of me, so now you know).
3. steak salad of any kind - if you're eating it over greens, make sure dressing is under 9grams of sugar per serving if possible. if it's plain balsamic then you're good to go. extra tasty if you have blue cheese and balsamic onions in it too.
4. shrimp salad. one pint.
5. handful of grilled shrimps and a salad.

Dinner
- simple. meat and salad or meat and veggie.

1. steak every now and then is alright in all of its forms. if you marinate though, be aware you're injecting sugar, so marinating should be a special occasion. use a rub like McCormick's Monterey Steak instead.
2. chicken. for some reason, even marinating chicken seems to be ok, maybe because the calories are so low for chicken. i use soy vey. or just lemon and red onion, salt and pepper.
3. tilapia fish is really easy to cook in the skillet. season with whatever smells good to you. i use 21 seasoning from trader's and salt and pepper. it's filling too - firm fish is more filling - and more affordable than other fish. combine with steamed broccoli.
4. pork chops. season however you want. really low cal and easy to cook.
5. saute shrimp with the shallot/onion combo, mix in a tiny bit of garlic aioli, s-n-p, and dill. put on top of greens that are already mixed with balsamic dressing. the shrimp is also super delicious piled on top of a splayed avocado.
*make double of everything and you have lunch for the next day...

NOTE: i usually cook any kind of meat, depending on thickness at 375 for 20 minutes, check it and put in for 4-5 more minutes if you need to.

Sides for Dinner:
1. steamed broccoli, use sauce from meat dish as seasoning or s-n-p. you can use any vegetable really...i only mention asparagus and broccoli because that's all i like.
2. get skinny asparagus and season with above 21 seasoning and s-n-p and flip it around in your skillet for a while. get it a bit crispy. yum. if all you can find is fat asparagus, then steam it first, then flip it around in a skillet to get crispy.
3. saute in butter: mushrooms, shallots, red onion, a dash of balsamic, chopped garlic and salt and pepper. YUM. it takes a while for this stuff to cook down nice and soft so you can kind of start it at the same time as your meat dish. i'll eat this side dish next to my salad and meat and mix them a little together. it's so good.
4. tomato salad. cut up cherry tomatoes and mix with hand-torn fresh basil, a bit of chopped garlic, olive oil drizzled over it and balsamic dashed over it. let it sit a bit, it will get tastier. goes great with salmon.
5. greens out of the bag with your favorite dressing as long as the sugar content is under 9g per serving.

when you're eating, notice if you go slow enough and find you're not hungry anymore at a certain point, throw that shit away. don't feel bad about waste, it's your HEALTH that's important. the second it crosses your mind to throw it away, make your hand do it. don't sit here like i am right now, going, "oh but my breakfast is soooo good!" THROW IT OUT.

DANGER:

1. bread - it HAS to be multigrain or Lo-Carb Rye which is even better and seems to be everywhere. i've even noticed some light ryes have less carbs than multi-grain. i've also found Lo-Carb tortillas taste pretty much the same as regular.
2. sugar - buy a PIECE. this you can also find at specialty stores. no whole candy bar, no bag of candy, nothin like that. a PIECE. if someone brings cookies in to work and you can't say no, eat a PIECE.
3. chinese chicken salad - seems innocent but is loaded with sugar normally. i ate these every day forever and just got fatter and couldn't figure it out.

good complex carbs:

oranges
bad complex carbs:
bananas. pineapple. carrots. even some complex carbs are too high in sugar at the beginning of a diet.

snacks:

pickles
garlic-stuffed olives (the garlic makes them actually healthy)
string cheese
pistachios (the best nut because you spend half the time opening the shell)
almonds

EXCEPTIONS:

wine at night, but only a couple glasses. sugar in your coffee in the morning.

HOME FREE:

after you've lost the weight, you'll notice that now you can eat sugar sometimes or even pig out on pizza over the weekend and it won't mess you up. you'll maintain your weight. this is because your metabolism is faster now and burning that crap off. just don't go too far or you'll lose it. i once followed this same diet a few years ago and lost 30Lbs. and gained it all back because i too frequently started eating the bad stuff. it can sneak up on you. sugar is a drug. the more you take, the more you'll want. but it's delicious, so let yourself have some every now and then.

WATER: you have to drink a lot of water. A LOT. like 65ozs a day. do it.

if you find motivation problems, look at the picture above, visualize yourself slimmer and slimmer and how you don't want to mess it up and above all don't put stuff in front of yourself that you can't have. don't walk by the donuts in the store. don't do it. don't eat office cake. sing happy birthday and get the hell out. it works. this way, you don't even have to have much will power to lose weight. god knows i don't have ANY.

xo

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