Happy "Do Whatever I Want Day" or "Newest Inductee Into Boys-Only Club"

my first thought of the day today was "that was a dream that was a dream not real not real not real a dream." i struggled to convince myself that my dream was a dream, not something that exists here, on earth, but this proved difficult as the distinctive feelings, the experiences, the residual emotional repsonses to everything that had happened in my dream kept stinging. do our brains record the experiences we have in our dreams as real or not. i mean, can we scar ourselves?!

second thought was, "not going to work today. won't be that missed. not going." at that moment today was assigned "do whatever i want day."

Happy Do Whatever I Want Day!

this is very rare. this is a holiday that hasn't come around in years, maybe. but here it is.

the trot went like this: get up go drop off check at shrink's house in noe valley, get coffee at starbucks, look at real estate magazine pictures for an hour, go to grocery store, walk home. on the way home take pictures of houses i love, views i love including the view from my deck, one of the best, suddenly feel like i've got the squirts coming on, walk faster, walk in house, put groceries down right away, definitely take time to lock door (paranoid idea #22: some freak will follow me into my house and rape me), race to the bathroom and see, oh my god, how funny i have totally had a little squirt in my pants! this is a first, this is disgusting, finish business, stand up, get new underwear and EWWW! what IS THIS! it's shit all over my clean underwear, i go back in bathroom and look at toilet and see i somehow shat on the toilet seat on the way down and it got on my actual BUTT, oh my GODDDDDD!! i sort of clean it up and then decide a shower is absolutely necessary at this very second, fuck the toilet, get in shower, get out, eat, write this.

so it could be said, in the most ladylike of terms, that i can now join the previously exclusive boys club "The Time (s) I Crapped My Pants." i now have a story to share with the boys in the stoners circle. hooray! i have to assume this is my rightful punishment for bailing on my coworkers, but guess what...it's pretty much worth it!