Hometown kick

somehow i came across my little hometown (norcal farming town) somewhere today...i ended up reading about my old choir director retiring and also names of restaurants that i don't recognize that "the locals" have been going to "for years". and then i decided to look up some properties to see exactly what the real estate's like now and i find that i can barely remember where most of the streets are and all of it is making me a little sad.

i really hated it there when i lived there. i left 18 years ago, pretty much the second i graduated from high school.

drunks, rich assholes, snobs and children of celebrities made up the little town i was raised in. i didn't fit in. i wasn't pretty, rich or terribly funny and those were necessary traits to feel comfortable in such a bitchy place. so many people wanted to live there and spent so much money just spending a few hours there that being a "local" felt like being a part of special club that the rest of the world dreamed of belonging to.

i miss it. there was a certain civility about sitting around one friend's 20 person glass table for a dinner of fine wine and homemade pasta. her younger brother would talk about things smelling "like butt" while chewing with his mouth open. the two family pugs sat in their mother's and father's laps while we ate, their freakishly long tongues lapping up rich sauces and meats from the table leaving long smears of butter. the family of four was very relaxed and talked about local news, school, local people, art, music and politics. they laughed while languidly shifting positions in their mid-century modern chairs. at my family table the children were instructed to be quiet while we ate canned vegetables. my dad would yell at us to wash our hands if we happen to stroke the cat while sitting at the table. it was not civil.

maybe it was my home i hated and not my town. i never thought of that before.