Wednesday, May 03, 2006

pray for whitney

my new friend is 70+ years old. i befriended her at work because she's very different from everyone else. she's the only african american as well as the only septuagenarian and she just seemed really sweet, she calls me "sister" and "honey" and i'm partial to terms of endearment.

i might regret this now. i'm getting a red flag.

we have gone to lunch a few times and no matter how much i try to steer the conversation away from work bitching, she steers it right back and it doesn't really go anywhere. she doesn't trust anyone in the upper sphere, and this could be right, i don't know. she repeats herself a lot, repeats not just words, but concepts. she calls certain women at work "bitch" without knowing me very well, or if they're my friends. she sends me emails that are forwards that say things like "pray for whitney" and how whitney houston wouldn't be getting so much press for her drug problems if she were a "white actress." she is also a practicing christian, not a bad thing, but something i'm not very interested in, i have some religious damage, i get tense when "jesus" is thrown around a lot.

i think maybe my new friend is a racist and a severe misanthropist. this isn't new for me. i tend to make friends with nutcases/the needy/the friendless and realize it too late and then i'm in too deep and i have to fake a friendship with them from there on out until i move or quit and it's exhausting. but what else am i going to do?

my lips were moving while i typed that last paragraph.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tough one...you're such a kind and loving person. Very open and accepting, and you don't realize when someone is toxic until it's too late. TFS (Toxic Friend Syndrome). Happens to all of us. Just start pulling back and not being quite as available. OR, take a more direct approach and when she bags on a friend, for instance, say: "You know, she's a close friend of mine, and I certainly don't know her to be that way. I would appreciate it if you would be more considerate with your comments." That'll snap her piehole shut real quick. Or not...in which case you can be secure in your decision to distance yourself from her. Best wishes :)

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