Christmas Special #4: the night i danced with Beck

so i danced onstage with beck once.

the show was at the santa cruz convention center (?) which looks like a high school gym (although i had that feeling seeing nirvana on four hits of acid at the oakland coliseum arena, but that's another story).

it was towards the end of the show. i felt a strong tug on my dress by my friend who pointed towards an open doorway on the right of the stage, very near where we were standing (rocking out actually). i looked and saw girls from the audience walking through the door and ending up onstage where beck stood, dancing and singing. i looked at my friend, she gave me a look like "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" i looked at guy. he gave me a "go ahead" sign. i paused: i was wearing little clothing, namely a slip that had previously been underneath my dress. but i had taken the dress off from rocking out so hard and being so hot in the high school gym. i paused...and then went. my thoughts were, "are you fucking kidding? you're not going to go onstage and dance with beck because of what you're wearing?!"

and so i went.

and so i danced.

the thing about dancing is, you can't do it if you're looking at anything. eyes following other people's movements does not make it possible to make one's own movements.

i stared at the audience through supra-hot bright lights. i looked at the other girls,

i looked at beck.

i was onstage at a rock concert, in front of thousands of people. with beck. i was onstage with beck at a rock concert and the lights were really hot and there were thousands of people, and you really can't see them from up there...and it was just so unreal. it was just like...definitely a dream.

so i closed my eyes and danced my stupid dance. my non-dance. my lame dance. whatever. i did it and didn't care.

after that one song at the end of the show, we were sort of encouraged to leave, very gently, but obviously. some girls went up to beck and hugged him or kissed him. i stayed in the back and i felt fine with that.

i've already met beck. i've locked eyes with those baby blues. it was the other girls' turns.

when i got to my new job the next monday, my snotty little coworker asked me what i did that weekend. i said,

um, well, um, i danced onstage with beck.

it got her attention. she really was a little bitch but she made me laugh the next monday when she asked sarcastically, "so, what did you do this weekend? dance onstage with beck?"

i totally laughed.