News from the lunatic fringe; happy endings

after shopping all day in downtown san francisco for christmas presents on a saturday (thank you valium for making it possible), i was so tired my legs hurt all the way up to my waist and it was way past time to go home.

uh, except when i got there, i was met with an interesting and unexpected scenario. the front door was closed but i could hear guy talking loudly and excitedly on the phone from the inside. i see a bottle of wine, mostly gone, his wallet and some cigarettes sitting on the outside table. i open the door and he's standing there right in the entry way, his blonde hair all crazy on his head and he's wearing my wool jacket, which looks silly-small on him. i look in the house and there is no furniture, no nothing anywhere in the living room and the floor is super shiny black. he had been cleaning and scrubbing and painting three layers of high gloss black floor paint all day. he says to the person on the phone, as i put my bags down on an outside chair, "(J), i gotta go. she just got home." and then, "hey, wait, ok..." and he hands me the phone and i know it's his cousin (J), who is more like his brother, a man i adore. a man of gentle contradictions, a man who is a party animal and a man who survived the gulf war, two things i highly respect. he's fun, and sweet and seems to really like me. when he tells me to keep his "cuz" happy, i get a little nervous. this is not a guy i want to disappoint.

anyway, i get on the phone with cousin (J) and i hear, "lou, honey, i just gotta say you made (N) cry...and i just love you and you're a wonderful wonderful girl..." i say, (J), are you drunk? "nevermind, nevermind, i just want to tell you that you made some people very very happy with your story."

what he was referring to was a story i wrote about that awesome boat ride in the chesapeake bay on the yacht...i don't know if you've read it here. but it was (J) i was with and "(N)" a man who guy describes as a CONSTRUCTION guy from EDGEMERE, like that means something and i don't know what that means but it sounds TOUGH. and i made him cry with my writing?? wow. guy is blown away, so i take his cue.

then i hang up the phone and i tell guy i gotta pee. he says the floor's wet, you can't go inside. so i squat in the yard and pee, i don't care, i just gotta do it. as i'm pulling up my pants, guy is looking at me, he's staring at me and i said, what's wrong with you? and he says, just button your pants. and it seems weird, so i say, are you ok? and he says just button your pants. so i do and when i'm done, he grabs me hard, he pulls me to him and landed on my lips a serious, "i love you i'm so sorry, you rule, that really sucked, it's over now, i love you i love you" kind of kiss. and then we just held each and cried. and our bodies shook against each other as we were crying really hard inside, and we just totally let all that stress and fear and sadness go and just BAWLED.

and that's when we returned to ourselves. our volatile, yet generally happy selves.

next, i pulled my living christmas tree in, a tree i've had in a pot outside for seven years. the living room floor had dried and i was allowed. i strung it with lights and put all my grandmama's ornaments up and it was so sweet and so pretty.



guy listened as i told him and showed him every little thing about every handmade ornament and he looked at every tiny little date written in teeny little grandparent handwriting every time i asked him to.

later...

we slow danced on the shiny black floor in the glow of tiny white lights and a tree-symbol of big love.